puregrace

unconditional

Sat, 11 Jul 2009 16:00:00 GMT

I always say she reminds me of a bitch.
But the woman has taught me so much.
You guys know how I hang with her.
Happy Birthday Mother.
Much Love.

i'm okay.

Fri, 10 Jul 2009 17:50:22 GMT

i've taken so many risks this past year. i don't even know if i regret them. or if they are worth my time. i've been really down the past couple of days. i'm sorry if i've been a killjoy. this is why i usually hide these feelings. i don't like people caring about me. especially when it's not needed. but i'm hurting. i'm going to take my own advice and move on. i've a firm believer that things happen for a reason. and that we shouldn't regret so many things. because these things, at that specific moment did mean something. i'm really tired now. i've used up so much time just dwelling on specific problems. we'll eventually fix this up. we always do. i'm so sorry that this doesn't make sense to you guys. i hope you can relate to it somehow. i feel like running away from it all. and so i walked around wattle grove today, until my legs told me to go home. it felt great. i want to focus on other things. focus my energy on other people.

please fill me in.

anyways. i really want to plan a trip to melbourne or something. i pretty much suck at planning. so i'm just putting the idea out there. maybe just a weekend getaway. hopefully someone good at planning picks it up. who's up for it. bring everyone. we need it.

ps: i passed all my subjects this semester. i've maintained my credit gpa. which is pretty alright. i got a distinction, two credits and a pass. top stuff for half a med-science degree. i swear it is. the stuff we learn is like.. wtf. one semester to go. i'm burning.

i want everyone to know

Sun, 05 Jul 2009 04:17:05 GMT

All these years, I was looking for something specific. It was there. It was always there. Now i've forgotten what I was looking for. My mental patient once told me that we have to look at the bigger picture. That we are thrown so many things in life. And sometimes we're so focused on looking for this one thing, we forget the things right infront of our faces. The fact that it had to take someone so out of reality based thinking to tell me this and make me understand it, is amazing.

I'm wearing my heart on your sleeve.

happity birthday

Sat, 04 Jul 2009 02:03:02 GMT

my bio legal buddy happity birthday!

i do remember

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 09:25:31 GMT

when you danced infront of the grade and dedicated the song to me.

when we would get free water from mcdonald's for kicks.

when you carried me to the bed. and i rolled over and hit the floor head first.

when we decided to dog the walkathon and turned left instead of going straight.

when your dad was talking to me about religion. you just stayed in your room.

when you'd accidentally do something wrong. and no one but me would see. and we'd just laugh.

when we were walking and you said something. i screamed. and it was just so so awkward.

when we were obsessed with seth cohen.

when we were on the train. and hobos were talking to us. i was shitting myself.

when we bought heaps and heaps of lollies to set the mood for willy wonka.

when we would make fun of him because he thought he knew everything during clinical.

when you caught me dozing off during star wars.

when we decided to make home-made milkshakes in the cinema... all people could hear was whipped cream.

when you saw me having an awkward moment with my sister. so you took me away.

when gatto was born. italian class was hectic with you guys.

when we told you we weren't heading out anymore, and you called my house. mum told you i was out with the guys.

when we legged it to class. and STILL got detentions.

when we ran around the city with mini water guns. and then i went to some scientologist to get away from you.

when you gave me that motorcycle toy. and then i gave it to him.

when we went to mcdonalds one morning, turned around and the principal was there all anger. we ran.

when you met me through gunbound. and my skills werent even that great.

when we were at big w. and i pretended to be you once again. forgot that they could see us from the other side.

when i saw you at spotlight. and i thought twice bout hiding. but i couldn't.

when you first met me because the boys made you drive to my house at 3 am.

when you gave me a rose for kris kringle. and he stepped on it.

when i saw you sitting outside building 1, and was like shit... dude from myspace.

when we got caught for stealing the kettle at camp.

i do remember.

keep it. it's yours.

Mon, 29 Jun 2009 10:00:00 GMT

been doing a lot of thinking lately.
and yes i have realised that i'm an idiot.
i'll talk to you soon.
i promise.

sunday edition

Sun, 28 Jun 2009 14:58:25 GMT

1. First thing you wash in the shower?
shampoo hair

2. What colour is your favourite hoodie?
grey

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
over and over again; honest to blog.

4. Do you plan outfits?
i guess

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
confused

6. Whats the closest thing to you that's red?
magic sing

7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?
i cant think of any!

8. Did you meet anybody new today?
yes.

9. What are you craving right now?
filet-o-fish

10. Do you floss?
at times

11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
foodstuff

12. Are you emotional?
yeah mood swangs

13. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
not really lol

14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
bite

15. Do you like your hair?
yes yes yes i dooo

16. Do you like yourself?
sometimes

17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
eat bush and leaves. lawl. why

18. What are you listening to right now?
nothing

19. Are your parents strict?
not so anymore

20. Would you go sky diving?
maybe

21. Do you like cottage cheese?
no idearr

22. Have you ever met a celebrity?
i met travis?? lol from BB (FAIIILLL)

23. Do you rent movies often?
yeah video ezy peezy

24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in?
no

25. How many countries have you visited?
america, philippines... is living in australia counted? ha

26. Have you made a prank phone call?
fashooo.. with my number NOT on private hahaha

27. Ever been on a train?
yes. woo fun.

28. Brown or white eggs?
brown eggs is what.. burnt? lol RACIST

29. Do you have a cell phone?
mobile phonee.

30. Do you use chapstick?
naww.. nivea.. or lipsmackers. or his saliva LOL i kids

31. Do you own a gun?
water gun

32. Can you use chop sticks?
gerald ONCE taught me

33. Who are you going to be with tonight?
no one. so so lonely

34. Are you too forgiving?
no

35. Ever been in love?
not really

37. Ever have cream puffs?
naw

38. Last time you cried?
this murning.

39. What was the last question you asked?
what?

40. Favorite time of the year?
autumn, spring

41. Do you have any tattoos?
naww . someone ask me to get one with themss

42. Are you sarcastic?
at times

43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
yeah

44. Have you ever walked into a wall?
into door knobs. FML

45. Favorite colour?
grey

46. Have you ever slapped someone?
hahaha ever so lightly.. i believe i half-slapped tetto's face plenty yesterday

47. Is your hair curly?
waveyy.. but its straight now lol

48. What was the last CD you bought?
gerald's pressers

49. Do looks matter?
yeah. LOL

50. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
forgive... but im smart. lol

51. Is your phone bill sky high?
naw i got a good plan ;P

52. Do you like your life right now?
yes.

53. Do you sleep with the TV on?
i can.

55. Do you have good vision?
yesssir

56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
no

57. How often do you talk on the phone?
every now andd then

58. The last person you held hands with?
bestfriendd

59. What are you wearing?
my robe

60. What is your favourite animal?
dog?

61. Where was your default picture taken?
um.... facebook.. gerald's 21st

62. Can you hula hoop?
no LOL i havent tryiied in awhile

63. Do you have a job?
yes!

64. What was the most recent thing you bought?
dunno really

65. Have you ever crawled through a window?
lol ya

RIP MJ.

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 00:23:39 GMT

Like A Comet

Blazing 'Cross The Evening Sky
Gone Too Soon

Like A Rainbow
Fading In The Twinkling Of An Eye
Gone Too Soon

Shiny And Sparkly
And Splendidly Bright
Here One Day
Gone One Night

Like The Loss Of Sunlight
On A Cloudy Afternoon
Gone Too Soon

Like A Castle
Built Upon A Sandy Beach
Gone Too Soon

Like A Perfect Flower
That Is Just Beyond Your Reach
Gone Too Soon

Born To Amuse, To Inspire, To Delight
Here One Day
Gone One Night

Like A Sunset
Dying With The Rising Of The Moon
Gone Too Soon

Gone Too Soon

i always delete this post

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 14:01:03 GMT

2006, when i still liked to write long nothings:
I went psycho at the age of seven years old. Here I learn of my fear of letting go. Spent half the year faking sick, just to stay home. Here as well, I learn of my 'middle child syndrome' which I don't take too seriously.

The new school environment fucked me up -a bit. From minor stealing and smoking influences; I learn from the people I met in Liverpool (not that I will ever admit to such and such, to random people).

There was also the obsession with witchcraft, thanks to shows like Charmed and movies like The Craft. This idea brought many useless hours with us believing that we were "light as a feather, stiff as a board" as others tried lifting us up with their fingers (in the girls bathroom). Levitation, our first step to flying. I can't recall anytime that I became blood sisters with anyone; but if I did ... give me a shout & then tell me you weren't infected with anything when we were kids.

High school, the best years of our lives, from the police/teacher interrogations to being rebels and being caught at school retreats to having my head down someone's toilet ... I learnt how much I love the people I have met. That every moment We fuck up, there's a moment later on in time, that this will turn into a memory that will always bring back the fear and consequently the laughter.

I was always labeled the innocent one. Me being the I, in "IBEBAD"; where each letter had a meaning representing each member of my clan (woops if there was an unspoken pact about never revealing that). And to this day, I have lived up to that innocent -ness. I'm Good. I will always be Good.

I have experienced a lot and nothing at the same time. Enough to say that I have many cherished moments that I will never replace, and not quite enough to say I have many things that I may regret and want deleted from existence.

In these years, I finally feel how to truly lose people, from my relative (who is still very much alive to my younger sister) to my God mother (whose last words to me was "don't have sex till you're 18", very insightful). These events taught me that people do die, and that many things will be left unsaid if you don't go and just do what you want to do.

Unlike our families, We are given the free will to choose our friends. Might as well choose the right ones. You may notice that I have chosen the best variety. The best people to me. They may not necessarily like each other, but to me they are the world. They keep me sane, they keep me laughing, they keep me living.

The person I am now, clearly can't be defined by what I did, who I did it with and what I didn't do. It really all amounts to the values I have acquired through the trials and tribulations of my life. Values that have kept me whole as a person, whole enough to keep me sitting here telling you a bit about me. Now here is when I say... seriously, I really have no idea who I am; My life is just beginning.

edit (day before my 20th birthday): so two years have passed. i've slowed down. i have one more year of nursing to go. and i'm going in the right path to my success. i've still got who i need in my life and they still have me. in addition, big w and uws have been great to me in terms of the people i now include in my random days. and to the people i haven't seen in months/years, i'm still here. i'm 20 and i'm grown. i'm more spontaneous than ever and i've taken the greatest risks these couple of years. i've been hurt, and i've hurt people. i've learnt to forgive and i've learnt to say sorry. i love what i do. don't be afraid of dying, be afraid of not living.

Thanks.

I feel like giving this page a make-over.

freedom

Wed, 24 Jun 2009 09:28:49 GMT

Graduating 2010 "hopefully".

"In our days, there was no 'hopefully',
if you're graduating class of 1978,
YOU GRADUATE 1978"

"hopefully".

ONE MORE SEMESTER.
i hope everyone else's plans are going to plan.
FREEDOM. IS.

HUGMEPLS.
gatto